The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug | cast & characters
Anonymous asked: How about Legolas hitting on Tauriel but instead he sends text to Thranduil?
And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.
Suck it, katana
And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.
Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.
Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.
In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.
The vaunted differences between the katana and the longsword are largely myth.
First off: longswords are nowhere near as heavy as everyone thinks they are, the weight difference between an average longsword and an average katana is very slight.
Second: Longswords are not just random hack and slash weapons. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS JUST RANDOM HACK AND SLASH WEAPONS EVERY WEAPON IN THE WORLD REQUIRES SKILL AND FINESSE! To use a longsword requires precision and training and skill. If you think the longsword requires no skill I suggest you try fighting a master, or go read The Flower of Battle by Fiore dei Liberi.
Third: The structural differences between a katana and a longsword make little to no functional difference.
The reason the katana is so narrow and has a slight curve has nothing to do with functionality and EVERYTHING to do with iron being very rare in Japan.
The curve on a katana is only enough to help increase the cutting length while using the minimum of material.
The differences between Katana technique and longsword technique are about as large as the differences between Italian longsword technique and German longsword technique.
Because there’s only so much you can do with a long sharp piece of metal.
Fourth: The Katana did not evolve. They came up with one design and never changed it for thousands of years, not once. The design process of the longsword is well documented, it went through thousands of permutations and redesigns to make it more efficient, more useful and more adaptable.
Fifth: Longsowrds took a fuckton of work and preparation. Ok, I’m about to burst your bubble here, but bear with me because you’re going to learn something.
When the Japanese developed their folded steel technique it was in response to the fact that their iron ore was not only rare, it was also so full of impurities it was brittle and pretty awful at being a weapon.
All the Japanese folded steel technique really did was bring their steel up to the quality that was standard in most European steel.
Why do I say Japanese folded steel?
BECAUSE THE REST OF THE WORLD HAD ALREADY GOTTEN THERE ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS BEFOREHAND!
Japanese Folded Steel is primitive compared to some of the shit we were producing for weapons at the same time in Europe.
And do you want to know who the masters of that were? THE FUCKING VIKINGS!
Japanese folded steel involves hammering one piece of steel into a fucking sandwhich over and over and over again.
Viking folded steel involves taking separate rods of Iron (For a flexible core) and Steel (for a hard edge) AND FUCKING BRAIDING THEM TOGETHER! LITERALLY BRAIDING TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF METAL IN THREE OR MORE PIECES TOGETHER AND THEN HAMMERING THAT INTO A SWORD! JUST TRY AND TELL ME THAT’S NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD!
Sixth: The Katana was a backup weapon. It was literally the last resort. It got a lot of reverence in bushido because of how pretty it was and for no other reason. But the chief weapon of the samurai was actually their Kyu (longbow) followed by their Naginata (A spear, which was essentially like a katana on a stick and WAY more effective) or their Tetsu bo (A big conical wooden club covered in iron studs) and then if none of that worked then they would use the katana.
Seventh: The function of a longsword depends on the historical period you’re thinking of. In the 15th century and onward they were for dealing with plate armour and their design changed to reflect that.
But they existed long before then and had many different functions, people of each period tailoring them for their specific needs.
Eighth: Swords are expensive. Doesn’t matter what period or country you’re in a sword is a LOT of metal and metal is ALWAYS expensive.
In almost every culture spears and axes were FAR more common than swords.
This caused a widespread phenomenon that historians/archaeologists/folklorists refer to as “the cult of the sword” where the rarity and beauty of swords causes them to become an object of reverence.
Almost every culture that developed swords also developed a weird spiritual reverence for them. The cult of the sword died off FAR later in Japan than it did in Europe which is why katanas have so much reverence and mythology attached to them even into the modern age.
Ninth: Stop idealising other cultures because they’re over there.
Adding to that (regarding the vikings):
That braiding technique described earlier on had the same reasons for its development as that of folded steel; bog iron was the most common available ore in Scandinavia and not very pure either.
Furthermore, that made metal indeed very expensive. Most warriors in viking culture wore boiled leather helmets and body armour if they wore armour at all. The most common form of defence was the wooden shield we all know from depictions (actually one thing out of very few that pictures get right).
The weapons that found most employment were spears (cheap because they largely consisted of wood plus practical as they allowed you to engage your enemy from a distance whilst you held your shieldwall intact). Axes were predominantly wood, too, and could be used when your spear breaks, falls or became lodged in a dead or dying body.
Swords and metal armour were the equipment of the wealthy (chieftains).
i rarely reblog things for commentary, but here it is.
(did i mention my hardon for longswords?)
Freaking Vikings knew what they where doing
Not Everything White Sucks: A Novel
i’m gonna write too characters who are generally indifferent towards each other
they work together of their own free will
there’s no banter or jaw jacking
they accomplish their goal and go on their merry way
i’m gonna cast two tall skinny white dudes as them and watch people scramble to ship it
sometimes i wonder what happened when clapping was invented
Alright, here’s something funny. These boys in my hall went outside in their undies to take some photos in the snow. Funny, right? They’re trying to get attention and it’s hilarious. Us ladies choose to do the same, we are wearing more clothing, and are doing the exact same poses. We are wearing as much clothing as is acceptable at the pool or the beach, at the gym, etc.
There is a serious double standard here— us girls have gotten responses like:
"What’s the point of being half naked?"
"*ahem* sluts *ahem*"
"What’s wrong with you females?"
Or worse, what my mother said. Her initial shock was apparently because she thought I was in my underwear, but when I told her I was in a swimsuit, she was suddenly happy I was having fun in college.
The idea here is that we are doing the same thing. When arguing this point with one of my hallmates, he said “But men’s bodies aren’t built the same, you don’t see girls getting pumped up over a topless guy, but how many guys do you think are gonna get all crazy over a topless girl?” Seriously? Really? Women don’t need to dress in order to avoid a reaction from men. You’re mad because you can’t control yourself? Men can pose in their undies in the snow without an issue because women aren’t going to go wild over it? Keep it in your pants, that’s your responsibility, not ours.
The double standards are killin’ me.
"Keep it in your pants, that’s your responsibility, not ours." Is literally one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard. Thank you.
My (male) friend was recently raped and nearly everyone he knew either said it was his fault or he wasn’t actually raped. I can’t convince him that not all people think like this. Please reblog if you know that men can be raped just like women.
it is amazing that this only has like not even 500 notes, if it were a woman, all of tumblr would be shitting bricks right now. rape culture affects men too
Yo I don’t even care if 97.3845% of the stories on here are made up y’all are creative as fuck and have me laughing more than anyone irl A+++ job keep on lying and doing your thing
i bred thor and loki in dragon city
it was a little weird, but I figured my sister would be proud of me